The Pain of Unforgiveness, Part 2

IMG_1025We’re addressing a topic that isn’t exactly fun, BUT something we can’t keep ignoring if we are truly going to be a generation to rise up for the Kingdom of God. We can’t keep doing things the way we have. We can’t keep passing the sins of our past down to our children and expecting the next generation to fix our mess. Yes, we are talking about healing, but as we dig into how to receive healing, there is so much more we need to dissect in order to fully understand and even receive healing in our bodies.

As we discussed, there is a direct relation of physical sickness to a heart issue…

  • “Chronic unforgiveness causes stress. Every time people think of their transgressor, their body responds. Decreasing your unforgiveness cuts down on your health risk. Now, if you can forgive, that can actually strengthen your immune system.” Everett Worthington, PhD

We’re living in an interesting time. We seem to have it all, social media, technology running the world, everything handed to us in 30 minutes or less, but at what cost did we lose integrity, morals and Godly conviction? We are witnessing our nation more divided than it’s ever been, even the Church dividing on issues that should never be a question. Christians, stop supporting issues you KNOW are not Godly just to be politically correct and accepted!!!

Mental illness and suicide is higher than it’s ever been and if you look around, there are more sick people and commercials for medications than we’ve ever witnessed. I can’t watch TV for more than 30 minutes and not see at least 5-6 commercials for prescription drugs and each commercial takes about 90% of their time highlighting side effects worse than the ailment. What is going on with us? And if these meds are really working, why do we need more and more? The world has it right – there is a serious health epidemic going on, but the root isn’t our physical bodies, it’s our spirit! And the minute we stop and ask God what is going on and listen to Him, HE will speak! Problem is, we’re too busy! We want a quick fix! We don’t want to take the long road, even if the long road leads to permanent health- physically, spiritually and mentally. We have traded truth for so many lies and it’s cost us our own health and bondages forming in the generations after!

I love what Evangelist and our friend and mentor Cheryl Salem says, “Healing is a lifestyle. We can’t just live healed moments. We need to live healed lives.”

We may recognize there is a spiritual disconnect when we’re sick or struggling and we may go to the alter and receive our healing. I know I did that for years! I’d walk out of a healing service and claim my healing and then not too long after, I’d realize I was in the same place I was before. What happened? Did I lose it? This merry-go-round went on for decades!!! I’d go up for healing, claim it, go home and lose it. The problem wasn’t God’s inability to perform. It was my inability to receive. I love how Tom Barkey puts in his book, “Healing Grace…”

Tom Barkey, “Healing Grace”

“Does God want to heal everybody? Yes. Does everybody get healed? No. Why? WE can answer it with another question: Does God want everybody saved? Yes. Does everybody get saved? No. What stands in the way? The person,” Tom Barkey

The outcome of what you want is not based on what God is going to do! He already did it!!! He isn’t scheduled to go back to the cross. The Bible says “IT IS FINISHED!!” Who’s left here to make those changes?? YOU ARE!! You and the Holy Spirit, so get up and DO something! How big is your faith? How bad do you want to be healed? What are you willing to risk??? Are you willing to trust God to take you back to those broken places so you can be fully healed or are you content with temporary healed moments? YOU determine the outcome of your destiny!!

Another nugget from Cheryl, “The Church is just fat! We get the Word and fill ourselves up, but we don’t exercise it!” When will we stop being afraid to take the authority He left us to perform miracles, lay hands on others, see things we’ve never seen? It’s easy to go to Church, serve, lay hands on others and feel like we are doing the work of God, when WE in fact are not living that same Word over our own lives! It’s easy to tell someone else to trust God and allow Him to cleanse you and take you down those paths, but are YOU willing to do that for yourself??

Once you begin to study your Word, ask God what is hindering your healing? What is standing in the way? Most times it’s unforgiveness, bitterness, hurt, fear…These are all things that will hinder our blessings. We have all heard the saying, “Holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  Actually, we are dying inside. Unforgiveness that isn’t dealt with or pain that is left unhealed will grow and we become bitter and angry.

Hebrews 12:14-15 “In every relationship be swift to choose peace over competition, and run swiftly toward holiness, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Watch over each other to make sure that no one misses the revelation of God’s grace. And make sure no one lives with a root of bitterness sprouting within them which will only cause trouble and poison the hearts of many.”

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No matter how many times we meditate on this truth, hear it in church, sing it, whatever, we STILL can’t seem to live it, and that’s this: Forgiveness is NOT for the other person. It’s for YOU!!!! If you TRULY believe that, you have made your first step in the process!

WE are the ones walking around depressed, spiritually lethargic, putting on masks, living a lie basically because we have bestowed the very power GOD gave US to that person. WE tie ourselves to them and then wonder why we can’t stop thinking about what they did! Honey-untie yourself!

Forgiveness is a choice. We have to willfully choose to forgive. It is not based off of feelings, because we will never feel like forgiving. If we did, this wouldn’t be so hard! Our flesh will scream at us! What’s really hard is that in reality, we do have a right to be mad! We have a right to not forgive! We were hurt! We were violated, we were abandoned, abused, cheated on, neglected…WE HAVE A RIGHT!!!! But what has that right gotten you?? Depression, anxiety, fear, bottles of anti-depressants that make you sleep your life away instead of walking in your calling and changing the world for God!! Ya, the enemy knows what he’s doing, unstabiliziing us one by one and we are falling for it left and right! And our kids are watching! They’re watching us pop pills, sleep all day, walk around like zombies because we are too lazy to get up and take authority! And we are passing this epidemic right on down to them!

And can you do this, go one step further? Pray for the person who hurt you! Pray blessings over them! Hurt people, hurt people. 9 times out of 10, the person who hurt you was hurt themselves and the line goes on and on, so YOU stop it! You’re responsible for what YOU do, not what they do! Take the load off yourself and let God deal with them!

Mark 11:25  And whenever you stand praying if you find that you carry something in your heart against another person, release him and forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also release you and forgive you of your faults. But if you will not release forgiveness, don’t expect your Father in heaven to release you from your misdeeds.”

So, if we want God to heal us and forgive us, it is ESSENTIAL that we extend that grace and forgiveness to others. He didn’t ask us if we feel like it or if we want to it even if they deserve it! He just told us to do it!

And we have to understand that forgiveness does not mean you are condoning what the person has done. It isn’t letting them off the hook. It is letting yourself off the hook. It’s releasing yourself from the person. If we hold onto unforgiveness, we are not allowing God in the situation. When we forgive, we release ourselves and allow God to deal with the person.

We shared this scripture in the last show, but it’s worth repeating…

Hebrews 12:14 “In every relationship be swift to choose peace over competition, and run swiftly toward holiness, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Watch over each other to make sure that no one misses the revelation of God’s grace. And make sure no one lives with a root of bitterness sprouting within them which will only cause trouble and poison the hearts of many.”

Forgiveness, like we said is a choice. You make that choice whether you feel it or not. You may not feel any different after you forgive and you may have to continue forgiving the person. Sometimes its not a once and done. God knows the heart. We can say, “Ok I forgive you,” but inwardly we really didn’t mean it.

Matthew 18:21-22 “Later Peter approached Jesus and said, “How many times do I have to forgive my fellow believer who keeps offending me? Seven times?” Jesus answered, “Not seven times, Peter, but seventy times seven times!”

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 We are all imperfect people and we will be hurt and we will be the ones to hurt. We have to practice a life of forgiveness!

Colossians 3:13 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Lay aside bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults. “But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.”

Matthew 6:14 “And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.”

Forgiveness and healing starts in the spirit before it can ever work in the flesh. We haven’t even touched on physical healing yet or how to exercise your faith and believe for healing once you’ve asked for forgiveness. There is so much more to share and we will continue discussing healing and forgiveness in the coming weeks.

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3 thoughts on “The Pain of Unforgiveness, Part 2

  1. Wow! I came here to read this cus’ I just wrote something similar and word press showed me similar blogs on this topic! “Christians, stop supporting issues you KNOW are not Godly just to be politically correct and accepted!!!” Side nugget that needs to be preached!
    Also, another nugget from Cheryl, “The Church is just fat! We get the Word and fill ourselves up, but we don’t exercise it!” Wheeeew! So good!

    It also make me think of this: “The Body heals the body.”
    We believers hold healing power to help restore the body of Christ as God wants it. So when we gather, often times God holds a blessing available only in the gathering with other believers. Of course, our healing comes from God! And yet many times He wraps it in others cus’ He loves community so much and UNITY!!! So, your gift is what someone else needs. Don’t reject the gathering together with believers, is what I love to tell believers!

    Wonderful blog!

    Like

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